Sunday, June 15, 2003

Tale o' the tape: The Terminator vs. Tom Henke



By Ryan Ernst
The Cincinnati Enquirer

One is the ultimate action-movie character, the other was the ultimate anti-closer, with the slightly sarcastic-sounding nickname of Terminator. It's like Superman vs. Clark Kent. Who has better stuff? Let's go to the tape.

ROLE

An indestructible cyborg sent back in time first to kill Sarah Conner, then to save her son.

Edge TH

A gangly, Urkelesque closer sent in to save games for the inexplicably good Blue Jays of the early '90s.

GLASSES

Sun.

Edge TT

Your high school English teacher's.

ENVIRONMENT

Post-apocalyptic Los Angeles, where machines rule everything.

Edge TH

The post-apocalyptic- looking Skydome, where machines - and Cito Gaston - seem to rule everything.

MAN BEHIND THE MYTH

Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Edge TT

Uhhh ... Tom Henke.

TRADEMARK

Remington 1100 Autoloader, leather jacket.

Edge TH

95 mph fastball, effective forkball.

ALTERNATE NAME(S)

T 800.

Edge TH

Terminator, Canadian Goose.

EARNINGS

Raked in $241.7 million at the box office.

Edge TT

Raked in $8 million in his big free agent payoff.

FREAK OF NATURE

Allows the viewer to see the special "scanning" feature in his vision.

Edge TT

Was known to have the biggest forehead in baseball.

CLOSE CALLS

Was almost played by O.J. Simpson.

Edge TH

Gave up the tying run in Game 6 of the 1992 World Series, but the Jays won in 11 to take the

Series.

SAVES

One (Terminator 2: Judgment Day).

Edge TH

311 (14 major-league seasons).

LAST HURRAH

Coming back for a second sequel.

Edge TH

Won the 1995 NL Rolaids Relief Award, then retired.

Winner: In a stunner, it's the right-handed reliever over the half-man, half-robot killing machine (7-4). Then again, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines is due out next month.




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SUNDAY "PAGE TWO"
Sit down, Frankenstein - and fear the ultimate closer
Tale o' the tape: The Terminator vs. Tom Henke
Page Two power rankings

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