By Howard Wilkinson
The Cincinnati Enquirer

Most Americans listened carefully last night as President Bush laid out the reasons war with Iraq may be inevitable, but some listened more carefully than others.

Nancy Dickinson of Wilmington holds a photo of her son, Army Pvt. William Mitten, who is in Afghanistan. A stepson, Matt Dickinson, is in the 82nd Airborne and may be going to the Middle East. (Tony Jones photo) | ZOOM |

The mothers, the fathers, the spouses and loved ones of the thousands of American military men and women who have been leaving jobs and families in recent weeks and streaming toward the Persian Gulf have more at stake than most.

"I'm giving two sons," said Nancy Dickinson of Wilmington, one of the hundreds of Tristate parents whose children may soon be fighting a war with Iraq, "so of course I want to know everything I can."

Her son, William Mitten, is a 19-year-old private in the Army's 27th Engineering Battalion, attached to the 82nd Airborne Division; earlier this week, he was shipped out of Fort Bragg, N.C. for a tour of duty in Afghanistan. Her stepson, 21-year-old Matthew Dickinson, is a private in the 325th Airborne Infantry Division; he expects to be deployed to the Middle East soon.

"God forbid anything should happen to them, but if it did," Dickinson said, "I think they would believe that they did it for the right reasons.''

At one point, Dickinson said she was "100 percent" for going to war.

"But now that I have two sons in it," she said, "I guess I'd like to see diplomacy get more of a chance."

Wishing war could be avoided is the most common feeling among military parents, said Deborah Eckert of Indian Hill, whose son, Chad Adler, served on a guided-missile cruiser last year in the Arabian Sea in the war on terrorism.

"As a parent, you don't know much of what is going on and the military really doesn't tell you much," said Eckert, a social worker at Jewish Family Service in Blue Ash. "So you are left with these terrible feelings of fear and anxiety."

Eckert felt those fears herself when her son went to war a year ago. She responded by forming a support group for local parents and spouses of service men and women serving overseas: the group meets once a month at the Jewish Family Service office.

Tuesday, Mrs. Eckert said she was certain that all of the families who attend the meetings would watch the president's speech.

"They'll watch; and when we meet again, they'll want to talk about what they heard," Eckert said.

Sister Alice Gerdeman of the Intercommunity Justice and Peace Center, said the families of service men and women "deserve an explanation" for the military buildup.

"If he can prove to us - and I mean really prove - that the welfare of the world is in jeopardy unless we act militarily, then maybe those parents of servicemen can feel the sacrifice is worth it," Sister Gerdeman said. "But I mean real proof. Not the Iraqis might possibly do this or that under some circumstances, maybe, perhaps."

But Dickinson does not expect an explanation if the president has already decided to go to war.

"I'm not going to second-guess him; I don't need to know everything," Dickinson said. "It's not easy, but I do have faith in the military. Men like my sons."

Lt. Col. Kevin Betz, a former Cincinnatian, is a career Air Force officer stationed now on the island of Diego Garcia, off the tip of India.

His brother, Chris Betz of White Oak, said the distance from Iraq doesn't lessen his family's concern.

"We know this is a war against terrorism and the American military is a target wherever they are,'' Betz said. "So, yes, we are always concerned."

David Goetz of Deerfield Township, an attack helicopter pilot during the Persian Gulf War, said the burden is, in many ways, much heavier on those at home.

"Military people are trained; we follow orders," Goetz said. "The people at home suffer the trials and tribulations. It's always been that way in war."