One of the greatest things about this job is the way readers generously volunteer to tell me everything I am doing wrong, in extravagant, Technicolor detail.

I get more advice than Mike Brown on Monday.

"Dear Mr. Bronson,

"It seems to me that you are as much of a knee-jerk person as the liberals you deride in your columns. The only difference is that you come from the right. Respectfully, Guy Crocetti.''

That was a reply to my column on Sunday, "Anti-war dictionary,'' poking fun at protesters. My favorite part was the "respectfully.''

That's not funny

Other readers called me all kinds of colorful, creative names for defending President Bush. One insulted my religion, saying that Christians are not allowed to support war. That must come as a great surprise to all the Christians who are buried in Arlington Cemetery.

Believe it or not, some readers actually enjoy my columns. In the interest of balance, let's hear from some intelligent readers with good taste:

"Thanks for your excellent articles that cut the crap and tell it like it is. ("Anti-war dictionary") hit the bull's eye. Keep it up,'' said Milton H. Bortz.

And, "Dear Mr. Bronson: Thank you, thank you, thank you! Why? Because you write the words that need to be written. Sometimes it is very discouraging to read or listen to the liberal nonsense, or the `politically correct' opinions of people whose only purpose seems to be to undermine this nation. Sincerely, Marge Riehle.''

And here's one from a reader who took issue with a letter to the editor from a pagan who hated my column nominating a list of "lesser gods.''

"When I read the article on the lesser gods, I got a laugh and thought you should have included gods like Sporticus, who conspires with the (TV) god Cyclops to devour millions of man-hours every Sunday. Sounds like that pagan ... was also a POOPsie (Perpetually Outraged and Offended Person)'' - from Rob Ryan.

Fowl humor

Several people objected to my Monday column saying that Issue 1 is "Just say yes to drugs.'' But there was also this:

"I'm a recovering addict: 15 years clean after 20 years of IV use. I never benefited from forced treatment and believe it's a waste of time and money. I know thousands who have recovered in no-cost 12-step programs, but not until they made the decision to do so on their own. . . . I like to keep my past in the closet, so please consider my personal history `off the record.' ''

The animal rights crowd made a monkey of me for defending John Getz of Batavia, who shot five domestic geese that messed up his property.

But Cletus Holtgrefe of Mason said: "I believe that a new award should be formed and given to appropriate winners - people who stand up to the PETA idiots - and I think the award should be called the John Getz Award for Giving Humanity a Needed Shot in the Arm.''

And here's my favorite, from James Photiadis:

"You are an idiot. An idiot with a good sense of humor, though.''

I'll bet they don't say that about the Bengals.

E-mail pbronson@enquirer.com, or call 768-8301.