Sunday, June 09, 2002

Enquirer Page Two power rankings



Enquirer staff

        The top five — 1. Late-night World Cup. Can't sleep? No problem! It's on, all night long, on two channels, in two languages, with all kinds of accents. Even if you don't like soccer, it's hard not to get World Cup fever if you watch it long enough. What else are you going to watch? “Family Ties” reruns?

        2. Formula One. That reminds us: The U.S. Grand Prix is a mere three months away. People from all over the world will descend on Indianapolis to watch small, rich international drivers with cool names. They'll paint their faces like Finnish flags, or bust out their Ferrari gear. If you think Elder-Moeller is the highlight of the sporting year, do yourself a favor and make the two-hour drive west.

        3. Bearcat graduates. Give it up to the five Bearcat basketball players who walked this weekend. (Yes, even Donald Little. For this, anyway.) Finally, an end to all the excuses about why the NCAA's numbers aren't fair.

        4. Spain. True, no one will watch the French Open men's final. But you have to hand it to the Spaniards — they do one thing, and they do it well.

        5. A sweet sports weekend. Tennis, soccer, horse racing, baseball, auto racing, boxing. Heck, even women's bowling is on TV. Naturally, this'll be the one weekend it decides not to rain.

       The bottom five

        1. Overblown soccer celebrations. Sure, they pretty much never score, but come on already. Shirts off, back flips, cartwheels, wild dancing. Would Barry Bonds do that if he hit a homer off Randy Johnson?

        2. Mike Tyson. Just because.

        3. Tom Collen. If you don't know what's on your own resume or in your own bio, you shouldn't be allowed to mentor college students in any capacity at all, ever again. Pay attention!

        4. Hamstrings. What gives? Well, evidently hammies do. Doesn't anybody stretch out any more?

        5. Russell Branyan. We'll give the new guy a chance, but 132 strikeouts last year? Didn't Joe DiMaggio have that many strikeouts? Yep, he sure did — from 1941-48.

       



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- Enquirer Page Two power rankings

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