The NBA playoffs now begin, with a final result due about Father's Day, and could we offer some advice?

        Never mind, for the moment, the Western Conference. The West is serious business. Grim challengers sitting in the principal's office, waiting to be called in to see the Los Angeles Lakers.

        The Eastern Conference is much more interesting.

        It reminds you of the fraternity party from Animal House, where all the rejects are put in the corner around the table with the cookies.

        Consider the top three teams.

        There are people who probably didn't even know there was such a thing as the New Jersey Nets. And they have the best record.

        The Detroit Pistons? When last widely noticed, the Pistons were the Bad Boys in the early 1990s, and Dennis Rodman was working on his tattoo collection.

        Boston? The last time the Celtics won a playoff series, Larry Bird was still a player. Now he's not even a coach.

        For the record, this time a year ago the Nets were 26-56, the Pistons 32-50, the Celtics 36-46.

        “If you had gone to sleep at the end of last year's playoffs and you woke up today,” NBA Commissioner David Stern was saying, “you'd think ... that somebody transposed the standings.”

        Then there's Toronto, which has defied several laws of physics.

        The Raptors lost 13 in a row and 17 of 18. Then it was announced injured superstar Vince Carter was gone for the season.

        You wondered at that point if maybe Toronto should start playing its games with a running clock in the second half to keep down the point spread.

        The Raptors subsequently went 12-2 and made the playoffs.

        So did the Charlotte Hornets, who have their bags packed for New Orleans.

        And Philadelphia, with Allen Iverson's broken left hand just out of a cast.

        And Indiana, maybe saving coach Isiah Thomas his job. And Orlando.

        Notice anyone missing?

        The New York Knicks didn't make it. First time since 1987.

        Neither did Miami, or more specifically, Pat Riley. Never before a loser in 20 years of coaching.

        And where are the Milwaukee Bucks? They were one game from the NBA Finals last year but this spring folded up easier than a tablecloth. With their season on the line Wednesday at Detroit, they lost by 34. As last stands go, it ranked slightly ahead of Little Big Horn but way back of the Alamo.

        So with something of an odd and unpredictable cast, the East should at least be entertaining.

        Take New Jersey's Jason Kidd and his miracle cure for ailing teams.

        When Kidd went to college at California, the Bears improved 11 games from the season before. His first year at Dallas in the NBA, the Mavericks jumped 23 games. Phoenix improved by 16, the Nets by 26.

        Or Detroit's Ben Wallace, leader of the league in rebounding and shot-blocking. He is 6 feet 9 and nobody that short — short? — has ever led the NBA in blocked shots.

        Iverson is due back soon for the 76ers. Orlando's Tracy McGrady can dominate a stage. Indiana's Reggie Miller won't have many of these chances left.

        The East has been heaped with scorn all season. But the Pistons did win 18 of their last 21 road games. And the Nets did go 17-11 against the Western Conference. And the Celtics did sweep Los Angeles.

        Now these eccentric eight will fight to be a massive underdog in the NBA Finals, probably against the Lakers. It's a dirty job, but someone will have to do it.

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