Bookstore shelves are packed with suggestions for understanding the boys and girls growing under your roof. Here are some recent releases that might keep you from pulling out too much hair as your teen-ager matures.

Growing pains

        Parenting Your Out-of-Control Teenager by Scott Sells, Ph.D. (St. Martin's Press, $24.95)

        The Census Bureau estimates that 11 million households contain an out-of-control teen-ager. Dr. Sells identifies this behavior as the “seven aces:” disrespect, truancy, running away, teen pregnancy, alcohol or drug abuse, violence and suicidal threats. When parents seek help, they are usually given short-term solutions to long-term problems. This book is based on a program from the Savannah (Ga.) Family Institute, directed by Dr. Sells, that shows parents how to not only regain authority, but also how to rebuild loving relationships with their teens.

        Boys and Girls Learn Differently! by Michael Gurian (Wiley, $24.95)

        Even though this book came out last spring, the author's recent appearance at the local “For the Love of Kids” parenting conference serves as a reminder that the issue of how to educate children remains a good one. Mr. Gurian's theory is that gender determines brain and neurological development and chemical and hormonal cycles. Because of the different paces boys and girls take to grow up, their educational structure should be modified to take this into account, he says. For those interested in school reform, Mr. Gurian gives several options worth considering.

        Two more books give parents important tools in preparing for a discussion with teens about sex. Beyond the Big Talk by Debra W. Haffner (Newmarket Press, $24.95) gives parents information for each age group, from middle school to high school and beyond. The book also confronts issues such as peer pressure, dating and parties, alcohol and drugs, sexual harassment and abstinence. Originally released in September 2000, the sex lives of teenagers by Dr. Lynn Ponton (Plume, $13) is now available in paperback. The images and societal pressures today's teen-agers face leave them confused and susceptible to a world they may not be emotionally or socially ready to handle, the author says. Dr. Ponton gives adults the words and wisdom to start sensible, down-to-earth discussions with their teen-agers about the choices they face.

        The Myth of Maturity: What Teenagers Need From Parents to Become Adults by Terri Apter (Norton, $24.95)

        Just as teen-agers start to get their acts together and approach adulthood, the world of college crashes into their orbit. Ms. Apter points out that parents are pulling away from teens with an encouraging word about acting more like adults, and college is pushing them, class by class, into an uncertain world. No wonder 40 percent to 50 percent of college students move back home after graduation. The author shows parents why their wisdom, advice and nurturing is needed even more during their child's college years.

All about boys

        The Warrior Method: A Program for Rearing Healthy Black Boys by Raymond A. Winbush (Amistad Press, $25)

        In this book, the Fisk University professor advocates the integration of American and African principles in child rearing based on the West African Poro Society. He divides the stages from conception to adulthood into seasons: spring, conception to 4 years old; summer, ages 5-12; autumn, ages 13-21; and winter, age 22 and older. At age 5, for example, boys are inducted into a Young Warriors Council, and 13-year-olds participate in a rites-of-passage week.

        Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson, Ph.D. (Tyndale House, $22.99)

        The founder and president of Focus on the Family releases his latest book on child rearing. Dr. Dobson's Bible-based guide to understanding and guiding boys to adulthood redefines the unique characteristics of boys and offers encouragement and advice to help boys discover the rewards of honesty, integrity and masculinity. Listeners of his broadcasts will recognize Dr. Dobson's observations on gender definition, the role of parents and grandparents, the special challenges of single parenting and more.

All about girls:

        What I Wish You Knew: Letters from Our Daughters' Lives and Expert Advice on Staying Connected from the editors of American Girl (Pleasant Company, $12.95)

        Each year, American Girl receives thousands of letters from girls everywhere looking for straightforward, practical advice about growing up, getting along and fitting in. Two hundred were chosen for this insightful book. Topics include opening up to Mom and Dad, adjusting to changing bodies, struggling with friends and siblings, and reaching for their dreams. What I Wish also digs into more serious subjects like dealing with stress and grief, experimenting with alcohol and drugs, and sexual awakenings.

        Ophelia's Mom: Women Speak Out About Loving and Letting Go of Their Adolescent Daughters by Nina Shandler, Ed.D. (Crown, $24)

        When Sara Shandler's book Ophelia Speaks (Harper, $12.95) hit best-seller lists two years ago, adolescent girls had a new way to vocalize their roller-coaster view of life. Now, Sara's mother, Nina, shares the experiences of countless mothers struggling to both embrace and let go of their daughters. From conflict to concession to celebration, the book's optimistic tone can empower mothers everywhere to better understand themselves and their daughters.

Stories about flags unfurl
Flag tales
Pages are packed with tips on teens
Insatiable shopper
Celebrate your kids' differences equally
Make Giving Day a tradition
On the Fridge
Pregnancy board game gives birth to answers, fun
Troupe takes 'Earnest' to extreme highs, lows
'Dateline' pits Potter against '60 Minutes'
Get to it