If you're the passionate-but-unorganized type — you want to change the world, as soon as you find your glasses — Tom Lohre thinks he can help.

        He's offering hand-painted protest signs on whatever subject you wish.

        “I came up with the idea after the riots in Cincinnati,” says Mr. Lohre, a Clifton portrait artist. “Now I include all protests.”

        For $3 each, (the cost of his materials), he will assemble a sturdy sign with two pieces of cardboard and a lightweight, flat stick. For more impact, he paints different messages on each side. You compose them yourself, or he does it for you.

        He's just “trying to get somebody to think about something,” he says.

        But so far, it hasn't been easy. Where are the zealots when you need them?
       

Getting goats
               Mr. Lohre, 48, works at home so he can watch his 2-year-old daughter. He has an e-mail list of 500 friends, fellow artists and occasional agitators. When civil unrest consumed Cincinnati — followed by a wave of patriotism — he hit upon protest signs as his contribution.

        He knew their power from his days as an obnoxious sloganeer at St. Xavier High School, where he made posters to goad opposing teams. “It was very effective,” Mr. Lohre says. “You can really irritate people with the right slogan.”

        Despite that tantalizing prospect, he's having trouble finding customers.

        This summer, he made one poster — “There can be no peace without justice” — for a follower of the Rev. Damon Lynch, but beyond that, nothing.

        He tried giving away signs, but people were suspicious of free deals, he says.

        He started recommending topics on his Web site: “birth control, environment, grudge matches, sports teams, Halloween,” in addition to civil rights and terrorism.

        His site also suggests slogans. Some are ripped from the headlines in Cincinnati, others left over from the '60s. He'll tackle any side of any issue.

        To connect with fellow artists, he offers edgy non sequiturs, such as, “I love my Zulu pregnancy apron.”

        And he's not above cliched standbys, including “Throw the bums out.”

        “A lot of people think they're all bums, so you could bring it out every election,” Mr. Lohre says.

        Still no customers.

        “I can't get anyone to say anything,” he laments.

Signs: Free Samples

        Okay, I'll bite.

        Based on my current pet peeve, here's what my sign would say: “Stop the panic/Muzzle a newscaster.”

        Or maybe, “All anthrax, way too much of the time.”

        If I were a Kentuckian proud of riverfront development, I would carry a sign that said, “For a good time in Cincinnati, call Newport.”

        FOP agitator Keith Fangman would need two sides for his message: “I'm not racist,” and, “The black guy did it.”

        For civil-service employees opposed to Issue 5 in Cincinnati: “We're the best/Don't make us prove it.”

        For supporters of Issue 5: “It's nothing personal/Fire the chief!”

        Retailers' signs could say, “Help America/Buy whatever we're selling.”

        And this one might suit New Yorkers: “Yo, America/Thanks for the prayers.”

        Whew, that was fun. I feel irritating already.

        My final message: Free speech is our right. Let's use it.

        E-mail ksamples@enquirer.com. Past columns at Enquirer.com/columns/samples.

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