Monday, October 01, 2001

Stupid FAQ

5 of the all-time most Stupid questions

        1. A co-worker recently got his finger stuck in a wiffle ball. Why is it easier to get a finger into something than out? Also, do lots of people get their fingers stuck in stuff?

        1. Two things, said an unfazed Dr. Brian Gibler, chairman of emergency medicine at the University of Cincinnati Medical Center. Part of it is the way holes are punched from the outside, leaving ragged edges inside. The other part is once a finger gets in, blood flow decreases and swelling begins.

        Then this bombshell: ER physicians treat 130,000 such cases a year. “You'd be amazed at the number of things people have had fingers stuck in,” Dr. Gibler said.


        2. What's the correct way to eat a Peep? My husband insists it's bite the head off, then the butt, then stuff the middle in your mouth.

        2. Turns out Just Born, the company that makes Peeps, got that question so often it commissioned a survey to find out how people eat them.

        According to MSI International and International Communications Research (ICR), 60 percent of consumers eat Peeps head first. And if that's not grizzly enough, 40 percent stretch the neck out before the fatal chomp. No statistics on butt and belly biting, but 10 percent admit they stuff more than one whole Peep in their mouths at once.


        3. Do penguins fall over backward when watching aircraft fly overhead?

        3. Yep, they sure do, said Dave Oehler, head of the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden's aviculture department. “We first heard of this falling-over phenomenon when the British invaded the Falkland Islands. For fun, pilots would fly up the coast, turn around and fly down the other way. The rock hoppers had never seen such a thing, so they were spooked and kept an eye on the aircraft. They'd watch, eventually lose their balance and fall over as they followed it overhead.”


        4. I usually have two or three beers after dinner. When I do the domestic stuff, it doesn't touch me. But the imports, even as few as three, give me a mini-buzz. Is this in my mind, or do imports buzz you quicker?

        4. They sure will, said Rick DeBar, brewmaster at BarrelHouse, the Over-the-Rhine microbrewery, because of the difference in alcohol volume (4.5 percent for domestic beers, 5.4 percent for most imports).

        Secondly, most American beers are made with rice and cereal grains; most imports and micro brews are made with all malted barley, and for some reason that adds to the punch because it has a different way of reacting in the body.



        5. I was sitting in church behind three bald men. I noticed all their heads were shiny but their necks weren't. What gives with the shiny domes?

        5. A meeting of several minds in the dermatology department at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine came came up with two answers, warning they were more enlightened opinion than hard-core fact.

        Part one had to do with oil glands. They're plentiful and active on the face and scalp, enough so to give the head sheen.

        Part two had to do with the lack of hair. Most of the body has at least some hair providing a bit of shade. But the bald head generally has none and is exposed directly to the sun, causing a pinkish glow.


Stupid baton is passed
- Stupid FAQ
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