That from geneticist John Lewis, president of the Cincinnati Bigfoot Research Group and Cincinnati Skunk Ape Research Group. Both are affiliates of i-S.C.O.P.E. (Society for the Search for Cryptozoological Organisms and Physical Evidence), an international outfit that investigates everything from the Loch Ness monster to space visitors.

        So anyway, Lewis is trekking around South America looking for a giant sloth everyone thought was extinct for thousands of years. But apparently isn't, because Lewis, well, stepped in it. Doo-doo.

        He still hasn't seen the sloth, a creature about the size of a small elephant — how does something that size hide out for a couple thousand years? — but he had the droppings analyzed. The DNA was an exact match with dung from extinct sloths.

        Lewis and his researchers will be in Brazil the rest of this month,trying to get video of the animal. Whatever happens, he'll report back on the group's Web site: http://skunkape.veryweird.com.

        The main focus of his group, for the record, is investigating bigfoot and skunk ape (a bigfoot-like creature native to the Florida Everglades) sightings.

        All for dad: Well for goodness sake, look who's celebrating Father's Day with Oprah Winfrey. None other than the Cincinnati Stay at Home Dads, a group of 30 Cincinnati men who do just that: Stay at home with the kids while wives do the breadwinner bit.

        Right, says dad Tim Nabors. A three-member crew shot from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. last week. “I guess they found us through our Web site (members.tripod.com./cincidads). They came to my house and did an interview, then we went to Sharon Woods for more interviews. They talked to 18 of us and got seven or eight hours worth of film that they'll probably edit down to four minutes.

        “But they were great. They took us all to Dave & Buster's for dinner and gave us Reds tickets.”

        See the scenes on Oprah's June 15 Father's Day show.

        Bottoms up: Meanwhile, off in the foamy and fizzy world of soft drinks, they're celebrating in Madisonville at the Coca-Cola bottling company. Turns out it's the company's 100th anniversary.

        The Cincinnati plant, an independent company affiliated with Coke in Atlanta, is “the most advanced beverage plant in the world,” says marketing manager Mario Cicchinelli. It comes complete with 23 robots — AGVs they're called — to help the 800 employees churn out 5,000 cans and bottles a minute.

        They're celebrating a couple of ways. There's a commemorative bottle already on the shelves. There's a gala in mid-September. They're opening the plant to tour groups. And they're hitting the museum circuit.

        That would be the World of Coke on Tour, an exhibit at the Atlanta headquarters that hardly ever tours but will for the Cincinnati anniversary, Aug. 23-Sept. 21 at the Museum Center. Coke's historian, one Mr. Phil Mooney, will come with it and meet and greet fans.

        Contact Jim Knippenberg by phone: 768-8513; fax: 768-8330; e-mail: knipenquirer@yahoo.com.

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