Sunday, April 29, 2001

Wise guy

The president is no dummy

        One of my favorite e-mail jokes is the one about the guy who goes to the White House every morning and asks to see President Clinton. After about six days of this, the Marine at the gate loses his temper and yells, “I keep telling you, Bill Clinton is not the president anymore! The new president is George W. Bush!!”

        “I know,” the guy says. “I just like to hear you say it.”

        Amen to that.

        The other day, President Bush issued an order that no more X-rated movies would be shown on Air Force One. And the reaction of most Americans was probably: “What?

        The story said President Clinton often watched the kind of raunchy movies he criticized in public. So did the reporters traveling with him — which may explain why we never heard about it until President Bush pulled the plug on sex and violence “to restore honor and dignity to the presidency.”

        It's a little thing. But it yells loud and clear: “Bill Cinton isn't president anymore!”

        There hasn't been a White House scandal in, oh, about 100 days — which could be the longest period without a something-gate since 1992.

        It's such a relief.

        And it's not just little things like an Oval Office dress code that requires coats and ties and doesn't allow thongs. There's hope for some changes that really matter.

        Such as two members of the Supreme Court who might retire this summer. Mr. Bush's first nominee should be . . .

        John Ashcroft.

        Why not? Chappaquiddick Ted and his posse have already done their worst and failed to block Mr. Ashcroft for attorney general. If they pitch a fit, Mr. Bush should spread pandemonium through Clintonville by saying, “OK, how about Ken Starr?”

        Here's another big thing that could change: abortion.

        Congress has passed bans on partial-birth abortion. But President Clinton vetoed them. And the Supreme Court refused to outlaw it by one vote. Whether the Supreme Court changes or not, the president already has.

        On Thursday, Congress voted 252-172 to pass the “Unborn Victims of Violence Act,” which makes it a crime to injure or kill an unborn child while attacking a pregnant woman.

        Ohio has had a similar law for years. It's a no-brainer.

        But pro-abortion groups oppose it. They say it gives a fetus the status of a person (something obvious to anyone who has seen a sonogram). They even oppose allowing a child that survives an abortion to live.

        “That is an extremist position,” said syndicated columnist Cal Thomas, the speaker for the Pregnancy Center East Banquet for Life on Thursday night. “It's time to redefine who the real extremists are,” he said.

        He's right. They're not the people trying to stop barbaric late-term abortions. They're not the people who cherish the sanctity of life.

        The extremists are people who think it's OK to kill a child just inches from birth; people who think a woman who paid for a dead baby is entitled to get her money's worth, even if the child accidentally survives an abortion.

        The Pregnancy Care Center East provides free medical, adoption and other services. Women who work there told some inspiring stories about how simple sonogram pictures opened the eyes of pregnant women, who decided against abortions after seeing the tiny arms, legs and head of the baby they were carrying.

        I don't know how anyone can look at something like that and see a “choice” where a child is already formed and growing.

        President Bush knows the difference. I guess he's pretty smart for a guy who didn't win a Rhodes Scholarship and thinks “is” just means “is.”
        Contact Enquirer Associate Editor Peter Bronson at 768-8301; fax: 768-8610; e-mail: Cincinnati.Com keyword: Bronson.


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