Sunday, February 11, 2001

Cincinnati needs a celebrity in the stands

By John Fay
The Cincinnati Enquirer

        Jimmy Buffett made sports news last week by getting a little out of control at a Miami Heat game. The story got us to thinking: What Cincinnati needs is an obnoxious celebrity fan to spice up the sports landscape. But who?

        Here are some nominations:

        • Peter Frampton: The 70s guitar legend lives in Indian Hill now. A heckler with a British accent is way cool. Frampton probably learned a thing or two from soccer rowdies while growing up.

        • Jerry Springer: The former mayor doesn't live here anymore. But he shows up at Reds games when he's in town. He gets a chance to study loud and obnoxious people five days a week. He could bring along that bald guy who breaks up fights on his show.

        • George Clooney: He's one of Hollywood's beautiful people. He told Dave Letterman his hobby is playing hoops. Nick's kid should show up at an NKU game — he attended Northern Kentucky — and razz the refs.

        • Woody Harrelson: Also has the athletic background. Who could forget his performance in “White Men Can't Jump”? Word of caution to The Wood Man: Leave the cannabis at home.

        • Sarah Jessica Parker: She's from here. Always talking baseball on Letterman. She and hubbie Matthew Broderick could reprise his: “Hey batter, batter!” from “Ferris Bueller's Day Off.”

        • Bill Cunningham: He doesn't have the national name. But he's loud, he's obnoxious, and he's very funny.

        • Jeff Ruby: Has local status. Already has the choice seats right behind Bob Huggins at the Shoe.


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