Sunday, August 29, 1999
Watch touching mobility equipment
Use same manners as you would with non-disabled
BY DEBORAH KENDRICK
Enquirer contributor
To touch or not to touch is the question that was raised again recently by a brochure I received from the Eastern Paralyzed Veterans Association of New Hampshire. “Avoid ... touching their wheelchair, scooter or cane,” the pamphlet states. “People with disabilities consider their equipment part of their personal space.”
The truth is that like everything else, there are degrees of appropriateness within the touching range — “good touch” and “bad touch” — and it's an issue that warrants exploration.
On one hand, there's a certain negative assumption at times that says the usual rules don't apply when the person to be touched has a disability. People in wheelchairs often find themselves being patted on the head. Blind people suffer being grabbed by complete strangers who want to “help” them across the street.
Most people with manners can figure out that, if you wouldn't pat or grab a non-disabled person in a given situation, chances are that in the same situation it's also inappropriate to put your hands on a person with a disability. What's a little trickier is the issue of mobility equipment.
Maybe this can be made clearer by trying to see equipment from the perspective of the person who uses it. If you haven't had any personal experience with external mobility devices — a wheelchair, scooter, guide dog, crutches — these things can look like awkward encumbrances. To the person with a disability, however, they are symbols of real liberation.
If you can't walk unaided, a wheelchair, rather than being a point of confinement, is a tool of liberation. If you can't stand for long periods, a scooter or crutches can bridge the gap between missing out and fitting in. If you can't see obstacles or stairs in your line of travel, a guide dog or lessons with a white cane are often perceived as a new set of wings.
Many people with disabilities say that a piece of equipment is an extension of themselves. A wheelchair is not just a chair, it is that part of “the person” which facilitates movement. A crutch is not just a bit of metal or wood, it is the part of “the person” which makes standing and walking possible. A dog guide is not just a pet, but that part of the person which makes independent travel a reality.
When you put a mobility device in the context of “extension of the person,” knowing when to touch and when not to becomes easier. Would you straighten a stranger's collar? No? Then hands off the wheelchair. Would you fondle an acquaintance's jacket? No? Then hands off the dog.
Mind you, I'm talking about strangers or mere acquaintances here. As an extension of personal space, “good touch” of a person's mobility equipment is fine whenever it would also be appropriate to touch the person.
I often put my hand on a friend's wheelchair while chatting — in the same way that I might put my hand on another's arm. I do not, however, lean on their chairs for support, hang my coat off the back, or set my drink on their lap trays — any more than I would lean on or throw my junk on the lap of a non-disabled friend!
When friends greet my dog, it is another way of greeting me. When people I barely know or don't know at all stroke her head or make kissing noises at her, it is a violation of my personal space.
One more word on touching: Please don't let any of this discussion of equipment and personal space inhibit you from showing real physical warmth toward people you care about. A friend who uses a wheelchair once told me that he thought people were more reluctant to take his hand in friendship or hug him because of “all that metal” surrounding his body.
I remember a time when I met a woman who had been a longtime “friend” on the phone. When she realized, upon meeting me, that I couldn't make eye contact, she was stunned for a moment. Then, on impulse, she replaced the eye contact with a huge hug.
It was a good decision.
Deborah Kendrick is a nationally recognized advocate for people with disabilities. Write her at Cincinnati Enquirer, Tempo, 312 Elm St., Cincinnati 45202. E-mail: dkendrick@enquirer.com
Eminent M.D. paid peanuts for house call
Rumpke driver discovers newborn in bag
Ten ways to become a school activist
Inside today's schools: resource list for parents
Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy scouts
Critics question parole formula
Families often cope alone with violent mentally ill
Smog standards in limbo
Columnist to get breast cancer award
Music brings baby boomers to Blue Ash
Street paving goals not met, report shows
GET TO IT
Mapplethorpe may become a movie
'Story' lures literary stars for anniversary
Watch touching mobility equipment
'Weird Al' can do kazoo at Oktoberfest
Telluride festival tries to stay faithful to film
Teachers: This column's for you
GOP's Finan sings different tune
Misconduct not always harmful
Sewer plant fight gives lessons in power
Animal tricks, firetrucks are festival favorites
Baesler says he will try to regain House seat
City adds charity to payroll options
Development tied to sewers
Opponents cheer bus center's standstill
Pasta, politics like oil and vinegar
Pizza with a purpose
Pot-smoking cop reinstated
Radioactive ooze found near plant
Small day-care centers escape regulation
State patrol, locals make 151 I-75 arrests
Three counties seek state aid to pay for sewer
TRISTATE DIGEST
Two men attacked robbed
