Friday, August 13, 1999
Closing the generation gap
Books offer parents tips for getting along with teens
BY CINDY KRANZ
The Cincinnati Enquirer
Understanding teen-agers is not a spectator sport. Parents and adults need to be actively involved in a teen's life, providing everything from boundaries to hugs, experts say.
If you're used to keeping your teen-ager at an arm's length, there's a host of new books that can help you get reconnected. The books range from heavy-duty advice from experts to more light-hearted, but genuine, tips from teens:
• Always Accept Me for Who I Am: Instructions from Teenagers on Raising the Perfect Parent (Three Rivers Press; $8). Writer J.S. Salt compiles the advice of 147 teens, ages 13-18, into a fast-paced read. In their own handwriting, teens talk about what's important to them. The book is organized under four themes: support, communication, trust and acceptance and love and family.
• The Complete Idiot's Guide to Parenting a Teenager (Alpha Books; $16.95) by Kate Kelly. The book includes steps for understanding, talking to and coping with teen-agers, and the inside scoop on “teenspeak” and outrageous fashion statements. A helpful pullout card lists the “Top Ten Tips for Parenting Your Teen,” and “Top Ten Signs of Possible Trouble.”
• How Not To Embarrass Your Kids: 250 Don'ts for Parents of Teens (Warner Books; $8.99) by Zack Elias and Travis Goldman. These two 16-year-old New York high school students have devoted their lives to stopping parents everywhere from embarrassing their kids. Tips range from “Don't reminisce about your hippie days” to “Don't lick your finger to wipe schmootz off our face.” (Jared Lee, the book's illustrator, lives in Lebanon).
• How to Talk to Teens About Really Important Things: Specific Questions to Ask and Useful Things to Say (Jossey-Bass Publishers; $16) by Charles E. Schaefer, Ph.D. and Theresa Foy DiGeronimo,
M.Ed. The book is billed as an essential guide for those who have found themselves ill prepared and ill at ease when discussing important issues with teens. Each chapter conveniently tackles one topic. Chapters include: alcohol and drinking and driving, dangers on the World Wide Web, tattoos and body piercing, date rape and prejudice.
• Restoring the Teenage Soul: Nurturing Sound Hearts and Healthy Minds in Today's Teens (McKinley-Mann; $14.95) by Margaret J. Meeker, M.D. (Due out in mid-September). This book by a 1984 graduate of the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine combines discussions of medical research, psychology and spiritual issues. She tells parents what they need to know about STD's, depression, eating disorders and how they can help.
• The Roller Coaster Years: Raising Your Child Through the Maddening Yet Magical Middle School Years (Broadway Books; $15) by Charlene C. Giannetti and Margaret Sagarese. The book is a comprehensive guide for parents of 10- to 15-year-olds, covering every facet of the physical, social, emotional and intellectual development of early adolescents. Some of those issues include: appearance anxiety, the battle for independence, sexual awakening, the lure of tobacco, drugs and alcohol and sticky questions about your own past.
• Teen-Proofing: A Revolutionary Approach to Fostering Responsible Decision Making in Your Teenager (Andrews McMeel; $19.95) by Dr. John Rosemond, a child psychologist and director of the Center for Affirmative Parenting in Gastonia, N.C. The book helps parents find a happy medium between dictatorial “control freaks” and permissive “wimps.” Included are real-life questions and answers. Dr. Rosemond reminds parents that their teens can do something really bad and still turn out OK, and parents can do the right thing, and things may still go wrong.
The secret world of America's teens
Reconnecting with teens
Closing the generation gap
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