Couples marrying in Ohio might soon have a choice between saying ''I do'' and ''I really, really do.''
Covenant marriage, an idea that became law in Louisiana last week, is scheduled to be introduced as a bill today in the state legislature. Under the proposal, couples entering a covenant marriage could divorce only in cases of adultery, abuse or lengthy separation.
Supporters hope the choice will force betrothed couples to examine the level of their commitment. They also want to counteract a generation of no-fault divorce laws, which they blame for a soaring divorce rate during the same period.
''We need to remind people what marriage is - a lifelong commitment that is very difficult to break,'' said Rep. Ron Young, a Republican from the Cleveland suburbs, whose 11 co-sponsors on the bill include some Democrats. ''I think with no-fault divorce, marriage has become little more than notarized dating.''
In Louisiana - and under the Ohio proposal - couples applying for a marriage license would choose between traditional and covenant. If they choose covenant, the couple would have to show proof that they attended premarital counseling. They would also agree to divorce only if one partner was unfaithful or abusive, imprisoned for a felony, absent for one year, or after two years of marital counseling.
Most people agree that too many American marriages end in divorce 48,226 in Ohio in 1995, the most recent year for which statistics are available. But some critics fear the proposal's stringent requirements for divorce do not recognize the many other reasons that cause couples to split.
''The covenant marriage doesn't recognize the stress of living in an unhappy marriage,'' said Ellen Essig, a family law attorney and secretary of the Cincinnati Bar Association's domestic relations committee. ''It doesn't recognize the effects on the spouse, children, employment, and it doesn't recognize that people should be entering into marriage now with a strong commitment.''
''It would have you believe if you try harder, your marriage will be more successful,'' she said. ''That may be true, but the way to do that isn't to make them try harder because they've signed up for a different license.''
Understanding problem
Researchers who specialize in divorce also warn that no one understands precisely why divorce rates have risen so sharply in the past 30 years. Lacking such an understanding, they say, makes solutions that much harder to find.
''I think we have no idea how this is going to affect children, and divorces in situations where parents declare in a public forum what their accusations are against each other will cause a great deal of pain,'' said Judith Wallerstein, a pioneering researcher on divorce and marriage who is based in the San Francisco Bay Area.
It does not surprise Dr. Wallerstein that the search for alternatives to divorce is occurring as the children of the divorce boom start their own families. And where experts used to disagree on whether divorce was harmful to adults and children, a broad consensus is emerging that it is a painful process with long-term effects.
''There is a wish not to repeat the failure of their parents,'' Dr. Wallerstein said. ''In my own work, the problems (among children of divorce) crescendo around young adulthood, when they are overwhelmed with anxiety about whether their own relationships will fail.''
Troubling questions
The proposal also raises several questions that trouble some observers. For instance, what if a couple separated but could not afford marital counseling? Where would children live during the mandated two-year separation? Would one party have to pay spousal or child support?
''On the one hand, I understand the motivation. It does seem like it's too easy to get a divorce,'' said Jack Arbuthnot, a psychology professor at Ohio University and co-director of the Center for Divorce Education. ''But from what I know about the field, it seems like a Band-Aid approach.
''The problem is not that it's too easy to get divorced, but it's too easy to get married,'' he said. ''If the legislators would exercise their creative skills, they could make it more difficult to get married.''
