BEST NEW SPORT: Half-pipe snowboard. For sheer entertainment value, it was hard to beat. For American interests, it meant two more medals.
WORST NEW SPORT: Hash-pipe snowboard. O, cannabis. Woe, Canada. Still, Ross Rebagliati's drug test should do wonders for tourism in Whistler, B.C. A lot of narcotics agents will want to see all that secondhand marijuana smoke firsthand.
BEST QUOTE: From retiring Russian cross-country skiier Elena Vaeble: ''As all people on this earth, I walk as a zebra with alternating white and black stripes. It's possible that I am passing through my black stripe this year.''
WORST QUOTE: From Canadian curling coach Mike Harris: ''There are 40 teams in Canada that could be considered gold medal favorites.'' The cocky Canadians finished second to Switzerland.
BEST QUESTION: Where can I get one of these heated toilet seats?
WORST QUESTION: From unidentified Norwegian journalist to American hockey player Brian Leetch: ''How do you like my hat?''
Leech's answer: ''I think you'd have a sweaty head.''
BEST SINGING: Picabo Street, United States. Belting out ''The Star-Spangled Banner.'' So swelled with pride, so full of feeling, you worried she might explode.
WORST SINGING: The Canadian women's hockey team, screeching, ''Like A Virgin'' at the Police '90 karaoke bar. They couldn't carry a tune with a wheelbarrow.
BEST SCENE: Opening Ceremonies. The parade of nations begins with Takanonami, the sumo wrestler, carrying a small child on his shoulders before the Greek delegation. A simple, sweet reminder of our common ground with strange cultures.
WORST SCENE: Opening Ceremonies. Akebono, the champion sumo wrestler, from behind.
BEST DRESSED: Georg Hackl, Germany. The Lord of the Luge beat the pants off everyone, and the whiny Americans had the temerity to blame it on his shoes.
WORST DRESSED: Ilia Kulik, Russia. The men's figure skating champion appeared for his short program in an ensemble intended to suggest wings. He showed up for his long program in a spotted, bright yellow shirt. I thought he looked like a neon giraffe. Someone else compared him to a taxi that had collided with a cow. He had to be good to win with that getup.
BEST OBSCURE ATHLETE: Bjorn Daehlie, Norway. With three gold medals and one silver, the cross-country skiier became the most decorated Winter Olympian in history. He now owns 12 Olympic medals, eight of them gold, and he can still walk down the street unrecognized.
BEST OBSCURE ACTRESS: Pasha Grishuk, the Russian ice dancer, yearns to go Hollywood like her idol, Sharon Stone. ''In the next four years, I want to win an Oscar,'' she said. ''I prefer action movies, of course. I prefer to have a leading role. I assume I will have to take acting lessons.''
CULTURE SHOCK AWARD: Bus drivers wearing white gloves. Cab drivers in business suits. Exquisite manners. Unfailing politeness. ''People were so friendly,'' said Gordy Sheer, the Ohio State luger. ''I couldn't comprehend it. Being American, you're not used to that.''
Special Enquirer Olympics coverage