Monday, July 31, 2000

Survivor shares last words from TV press tour

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        PASADENA, Calif. — We've been voted off the island. Our torches have been extinguished — though some TV critics on the 2¹/₂-week summer press tour burned out days ago.

        Before we pack our bags, let's replay highlights of the TV stars' visits to our little camp out at the Ritz-Carlton Huntington Hotel:

        • After seven years on HBO, spewing many of the words that can't be said on broadcast TV, comedian Dennis Miller knows he must watch his language on Monday Night Football,which starts the season today (7 p.m., Channels 9, 2) from Canton, Ohio.

        No way can he use his favorite word, a four-letter term for intercourse. So he'll use the G-word instead: Golly.

        “Every time you hear a big "Golly! like Jim Nabors, that's (expletive deleted),” he said.

        • Chi McBride, an African-American who appears in The Kid with Bruce Willis and Gone in 60 Seconds with Nicolas Cage, complained about the nation's insane political correctness.

        “If you look hard enough, you can find race issues and racism in everything ,” says Mr. McBride who plays a high school principal in David E. Kelley's new Boston Public Fox drama.

        “I know people who say, "See, I don't play pool 'cuz that's where the white ball chase the black ball off the table. So I prefer bowling, where the big black ball knock down the white pins with the red necks.” '

        • CBS' Survivors told TV critics they weren't shocked to hear castaway Greg Buis, the nutty guy with a coconut cell phone, talk about liking to snap the necks of kittens before he was voted off the island July 19.

        “I don't think that surprised any of us,” Gretchen Cordy said.

        Added Joel Klug: “I'm surprised it took so long.”

        • At an ABC press conference to introduce Charlie Sheen as Michael J. Fox's replacement on Spin City, co-star Heather Locklear was asked if her Caitlin Moore character dates Mr. Sheen's character.

        “I date whoever they tell me to date,” she said.

        • Now we know what Kirk Cameron has been doing since Growing Pains signed off in 1992 — buying Pampers. The 29-year-old actor and his wife, former co-star Chelsea Noble, have four children, ages 3¹/₂, 2¹/₂, 1¹/₂ and 6 months.

        “I'm running around chasing a lot of kids, and changing a lot of diapers,” said Mr. Cameron, who will appear with his wife and the rest of the cast in ABC's Growing Pains: A Reunion movie. The original Growing Pains airs weekdays at 5 and 5:30 p.m. on the Disney Channel.

        • The cast of NBC's Titans, Aaron Spelling's Dynasty-style soap opera, got their shots in at CBS' popular Survivor and Big Brother, part of the summer “reality TV” trend that threatens to eliminate jobs for traditional drama and sitcoms.

        “Do 12 people ever really get marooned on a desert island? This isn't reality we're watching. It's pumped-up fantasy,” Yasmine Bleeth said.

        “And a lot of the reality shows have really bad actors,” said co-star Victoria Principal, the Dallas veteran.

        • Comedian Jim Gaffigan said he wasn't worried about getting enough good lines in CBS' Welcome to New York comedy, his sitcom idea that has turned into an ensemble comedy with Christine Baranski (Cybill), Cincinnati's Rocky Carroll (Chicago Hope) and Sara Gilbert (Roseanne). He plays an Indiana weatherman joining a morning TV show in a comedy produced by former Murphy Brown writers.

        “I'm from a really big family,” he said.

        How big?

        “Well, I have nine parents.”

        Actually, he was one of six kids. He grew up in Chesterton, Ind., near Gary.

        • With all the hype about reality series this summer, it must be noted that HBO has been doing sexually explicit reality shows for years: Real Sex, Sex Byte, Taxicab Confessions and other specials. Next will be G-String Divas on Aug. 12.

        “It is actually reality television the way only HBO could do it ... a true and honest and real look at a slice of life in this country,” says Chris Albrecht, HBO president for original programming.

        “I guess we could do The Girls of Denny's, but I'm not sure that that would be appropriate” (for the premium-cable audience).

        • The press tour ended with UPN President and CEO Dean Valentine explaining what happened to I Spike, an I Spy-style show about female pro beach volleyball players by day and undercover FBI agents by night.

        “I can't bring myself to (lie to) you,” he said. “It was just bad. We couldn't put it on.”

        The tribe has spoken. Time to leave the island.

        TV Critic John Kiesewetter has been reporting from the Television Critic Association's summer press tour.

. Who should be cast away?