Monday, April 05, 1999
Springer casting suggestions don't add up
BY JOHN KIESEWETTER
The Cincinnati Enquirer
OK, I get the message. You don't care who plays Jerry Springer in a TV movie.
You don't care if Fox Television Studios, or anyone else, makes an unauthorized humorous docudrama about how Cincinnati's former mayor became TV's infamous talk show host.
When I asked for readers' suggestions as to who could play Jerry, I figured we'd get a few laughs.
But not this few.
Ten, to be exact.
And that's counting two letters from Olympia, Wash., where my story distributed by Gannett News Service also was published.
I had observed that finding someone to play Mr. Springer would be difficult, since he appears ill at ease on camera and isn't matinee-idol handsome. I eschewed the obvious candidates like Peter Scolari and Jeff Daniels in favor of Jeff Greenfield, Penny Marshall or Linda Tripp.
For the record, Woody Allen won in a landslide. He got two votes. That was twice as many as anyone else.
Here are the results:
• Woody Allen: Regina Bertolotti and Raymond L. Cook recommended the award-winning director-actor who made headlines in 1997 by marrying Soon-Yi Previn, the adopted daughter of Mr. Allen's longtime former lover, actress Mia Farrow.
“He has a big nose and glasses, is nervous in public and private, and is a real pervert. He could be a twin!” Ms. Bertolotti says by e-mail.
“He has the looks, personality and is somewhat perverted, and is really a wimp,” says Mr. Cook of Cincinnati.
• Rosemary Clooney: Kevin O'Neill of North Avondale sent me a March 12 Enquirer Weekend section photo of Rosemary Clooney that looked amazingly like Mr. Springer, with her blond hair and glasses.
“The resemblance is striking! And besides, on a talk-show about freaks and misfits, why should the actor portraying Jerry be the only one not cross-dressing?”
“The Weekend picture clearly shows that Rosemary Clooney would fill the role,” he says.
• Chuck Stidham: Reading attorney Chuck Stidham says he's confused for the news anchor-turned-talk show host “all the time.”
Hamilton County Common Pleas Judge Melba Marsh calls him “Jerry Springer.” His young niece sees the Springer show and asks: “Why is Uncle Chuck on TV?”
Mr. Stidham's favorite story is about one of his clients, who in a Chicago restaurant, when the man's spouse thought she spotted Mr. Stidham having dinner. “No, that's Jerry Springer,” the man said.
• Comic possibilities: Tyrone Virgil of Golf Manor suggests Conan O'Brien, the lanky late-night comic.
Roberta Tapley of Batavia nominates Paul Reubens, also known as Pee-wee Herman, who was busted on a morals charge in an adult movie theater in Sarasota, Fla., in 1991.
Regina Villiers of Cincinnati proposes that Jerry or Jene Galvin win the role. She's just not sure which one — Jerry the advertising executive or his brother, the former teacher and longtime friend of the councilman. They host a weekly radio show, It's Those Stupid Galvins Again, at 10 p.m. Sunday on WVXU-FM (91.7).
“It should definitely be one of them. Maybe they could both play the part in tandem,” she says.
From the great state of Washington came these two suggestions — basketball player Dennis Rodman (if he'd hide his colorful hair with a whig) and Michael David Quinn (recommended by Olympia resident Michael David Quinn).
• Mike Dennis: Local actor Mike Dennis was volunteered by Laura Hunt of Locust Grove, his girlfriend's mother.
“Mike has a lot of local Cincinnati theater experience ... and recently did commercials for the Beechmont Auto Mile,” she says.
Mr. Dennis, a 1987 Middletown High School graduate, has been trying to establish an acting career here and in Chicago. He and his Slashmen comedy troupe have completed shooting a straight-to-video movie, Slashmen: Rude TV.
“I don't know if I look like him,” the Western Hills resident says, “but I'll do anything.”
But don't sit waiting by the phone. Fox might scrap the project, since Mr. Springer's Ringmaster film released last year failed to earn $10 million.
Maybe nobody cares.
John Kiesewetter is Enquirer TV/radio critic. His column appears Monday and Wednesday. Write: 312 Elm St., Cincinnati 45202; fax: 768-8330.
John Kiesewetter is Enquirer TV/radio critic. Write him at 312 Elm St., Cincinnati, 45202.
